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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Trending via Threads:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Live now on Telegram:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Breaking via Instagram:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Going viral on Telegram:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

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It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the birthday extravaganza! 🎉 A time when even your former dentist surfaces from the depths to wish you well, alongside the yoga studios and the ever-elusive smootheries. Who knew your special day could unite such a diverse group of well-wishers? 😆 Cheers to feeling the love in all its quirky forms! 💕"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

31 shares on Telegram this month:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

74 shares on Slack this month:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Making waves on Telegram:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Making waves on Facebook:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Trending via Reddit:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Breaking via Slack:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

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