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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Making waves on Reddit:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Going viral on Slack:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Going bananas on Slack:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Breaking via Messenger:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Making waves on Reddit:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

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It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the birthday extravaganza! 🎉 A time when even your former dentist surfaces from the depths to wish you well, alongside the yoga studios and the ever-elusive smootheries. Who knew your special day could unite such a diverse group of well-wishers? 😆 Cheers to feeling the love in all its quirky forms! 💕"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

34 shares on Facebook this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

39 shares on Threads this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

83 shares on Discord this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

37 shares on Slack this month:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Just landed via YouTube:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Seen just now on Threads:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Trending via Facebook:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Spotted on TikTok:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

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