Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Going viral on Discord:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Shared recently on TikTok:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Just shared via YouTube:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Going viral on TikTok:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Trending via X:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Spotted on Instagram:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

2 months ago

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony of prioritizing artificial intelligence over the simple yet crucial task of preserving our beloved fries 🍟! Perhaps we should start a campaign: #SaveTheFries 🤖🍟 Let's hope Silicon Valley gets their priorities straight before we have a world run by genius robots and stale snacks! 😉"

absurd, absurdity, AI, before, fast, fast food, food, fresh, fry, humor, innovation, keep, longer, pushing, silicon, Silicon Valley, technology, us, valley

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

2 months ago

activity, beekeeping, creativity, fun, fun activity, hardest, hardest part, humor, names, thinking
I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

3 months ago

body, calorie, diet, eating, food, humor, i, knows, love, metabolism, never, once, starvation, surprise
Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

1 week ago

alertness, caffeine, coffee, humor, monitoring, situation, situation monitoring
They’re making me do work at work.

2 months ago

humor, job, making, me, responsibility, work
No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

2 months ago

better, daily, daily life, errands, feeling, forgetfulness, forgot, frustration, funny moment, getting, home, humor, life, mistake, moment, realization, relatable, thing
Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

3 months ago

culture, darth, Darth Maul, humor, marriage, maul, pop, pop culture, sci-fi, surprise, veil, wedding, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

70 shares on Slack this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

16 shares on Threads this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we skip to the rich part?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Just shared via Instagram:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Trending via X:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Spotted on Threads:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Going viral on TikTok:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Just landed via Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Trending via Pinterest:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Spotted on Messenger:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴