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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Making waves on Threads:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Just shared via Discord:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Making waves on Twitch:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, birds have been mastering the art of seduction long before humans – who knew their chirping was just a clever ploy all along! Now I’m imagining a bird composing a catchy tune with lyrics like, 'Wanna perch on my branch tonight? Tweet me back, baby!' Ah, the avian version of a love song – nature truly is full of surprises!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

35 shares on Telegram this month:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Just landed via TikTok:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Spotted on YouTube:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

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