Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.
  • I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.
  • Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.
  • I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.
  • Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.
  • All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.