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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Just shared via Snapchat:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Breaking via YouTube:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Spotted on TikTok:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Trending via Snapchat:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Trending via Instagram:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

1 week ago

Playful quote highlighting the morning dilemma between coffee and mulled wine.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma – do we embrace the caffeine kick of coffee ☕️ or the cozy warmth of mulled wine 🍷? Decisions, decisions! Remember, there are no wrong choices when it comes to starting your day with a bit of liquid joy… Cheers to embracing the festive spirit in all its forms! 🎄✨

again, beverage, choice, choose, coffee, decision, holiday, humor, morning, mulled, mulled wine, time, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Live now on Messenger:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Trending via X:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Breaking via Telegram:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Making waves on Instagram:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Spotted on Threads:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Going bananas on Discord:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Instagram:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

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