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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

43 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Spotted on Reddit:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Just shared via Facebook:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Live now on TikTok:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Just shared via Messenger:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Spotted on Slack:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Shared recently on Facebook:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Going viral on Threads:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

6 months ago

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma – do we embrace the caffeine kick of coffee ☕️ or the cozy warmth of mulled wine 🍷? Decisions, decisions! Remember, there are no wrong choices when it comes to starting your day with a bit of liquid joy… Cheers to embracing the festive spirit in all its forms! 🎄✨

again, beverage, choice, choose, coffee, decision, holiday, humor, morning, mulled, mulled wine, time, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

1 month ago
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5 months ago
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5 months ago
Share → : Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.
6 months ago
Share → : By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.
6 months ago
Share → : I like you because we hate the same people.
2 months ago
Share → : There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.
6 months ago
Share → : Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.
6 months ago
Share → : After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

43 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Going viral on Telegram:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Seen just now on Slack:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Just landed via Discord:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Trending via Threads:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Making waves on X:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

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