Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Seen just now on Telegram:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Trending via TikTok:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Trending via X:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Seen just now on Reddit:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

0
It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma – do we embrace the caffeine kick of coffee ☕️ or the cozy warmth of mulled wine 🍷? Decisions, decisions! Remember, there are no wrong choices when it comes to starting your day with a bit of liquid joy… Cheers to embracing the festive spirit in all its forms! 🎄✨

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

64 shares on Discord this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

80 shares on Threads this month:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Going viral on Facebook:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Live now on Instagram:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Breaking via Instagram:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Trending via Discord:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴