Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Making waves on Slack:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Going viral on X:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Making waves on Telegram:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Live now on Telegram:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Breaking via Discord:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Live now on Facebook:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Indoor kids, outdoor kids… as long as they're not redecorating your living room with crayons, it's all good! 🏠🌳 #KidsTheseDays"

humor, i, indoor, just, kids, nothing, understand, understanding, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, fly, humor, idiot, media, satire, social, social media, TikTok
“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, favorite, favorite thing, humor, laziness, leisure, life, nothing, point, relaxation, thing, where
Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

0

2 months ago

believe, career, childhood, cover, cover letter, dream, dumb, ever, fun, girl, grow, having, humor, i, letter, letters, little, pony, rainbow, ride, sarcasm, space, work
My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

0

5 months ago

animal, emotions, favorite, feelings, humor, hurt, me, self
I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

0

3 months ago

aging, blanket, comfort, cool, couch, evening, humor, i, just, pajamas, relaxation, used, wait
I need a leaf blower, but for people.

0

2 months ago

blower, comedy, everyday, everyday life, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, leaf, life, need, people, relatable, sarcasm, witty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

86 shares on X this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Shared recently on Discord:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Just landed via Messenger:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Trending via Slack:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Spotted on Telegram:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Trending via Discord:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨