Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Just landed via TikTok:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Shared recently on X:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Spotted on Telegram:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Spotted on Instagram:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Spotted on Messenger:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Spotted on YouTube:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Live now on YouTube:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

3 weeks ago

Playful quote comparing Japan’s top toilets to missing Mexican food and racing dreams.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it's a toilet revolution versus a taco temptation crisis in Japan! 🚽🌮 It's like having a luxurious bidet but missing out on the spicy kick of a burrito 🌶️. Kind of like driving a Ferrari in bumper-to-bumper traffic – all that power but nowhere to unleash it! 🏎️ #ToiletTroublesVsTacoTime

best, culture, Ferrari, food, humor, irony, Japan, mexican, Mexican food, never, point, take, toilets, track, tragedy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Trending via Telegram:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Going bananas on Discord:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Broadcasted on Discord:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Trending via Reddit:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

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