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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

46 minutes ago

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Shared recently on X:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Just shared via Telegram:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Freshly posted on Discord:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Just landed via Twitch:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Broadcasted on X:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Going viral on Twitch:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Jan 21, 2025

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it's a toilet revolution versus a taco temptation crisis in Japan! 🚽🌮 It's like having a luxurious bidet but missing out on the spicy kick of a burrito 🌶️. Kind of like driving a Ferrari in bumper-to-bumper traffic – all that power but nowhere to unleash it! 🏎️ #ToiletTroublesVsTacoTime

best, culture, Ferrari, food, humor, irony, Japan, mexican, Mexican food, never, point, take, toilets, track, tragedy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

46 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Going viral on Facebook:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Trending via Reddit:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Trending via Slack:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Breaking via Threads:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Live now on Pinterest:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

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