Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.