Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"King-sized beds: Bringing couples together like adjoining states 🛌💑 Or, as some might say, maintaining a healthy distance while enjoying the luxury of a shared bed 😄👑 #BedroomPolitics"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

2 months ago

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Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

2 months ago

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And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

2 months ago

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The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

3 months ago

humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme
She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

2 months ago

ego, humor, love, narcissism, obsession, self, self-love, self-obsession
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Spotted on Facebook:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Trending via Twitch:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Making waves on Facebook:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Just shared via Instagram:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Just landed via X:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Just landed via Threads:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨