King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

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I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.