Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"King-sized beds: Bringing couples together like adjoining states 🛌💑 Or, as some might say, maintaining a healthy distance while enjoying the luxury of a shared bed 😄👑 #BedroomPolitics"

bed, code, distance, humor, king-sized, mattress, relationship, same, sleep, want, zip, zip code

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12 shares on Instagram this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

69 shares on Discord this month:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

89 shares on X this month:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

34 shares on Slack this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

Going viral on X:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Making waves on YouTube:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨