Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

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I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

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My life is based on a true story.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

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On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

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“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

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My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

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That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

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What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

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Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.