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Commentary:
Well, if your guardian angel is resorting to name-calling, it's clear you might be testing their patience a tad too much! 😇👼 Hopefully, your next encounter involves more praise and less annoyance! 😂 #AngelProblems

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

0

2 months ago

always, am, anxiety, crash, finance, humor, i, market, moment, moments, notice, relate, stock, stock market
You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

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2 months ago

control, culture, driving, experience, humor, keep, Midwest, nothing, skills, snow, spin, winter
I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

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2 months ago

abstract, abstract art, art, black, black shirt, deodorant, every, humor, i, lot, self-deprecation, shirt, shit, someone, talk
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

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2 months ago

agreement, commitment, confusion, expectation, good, humor, lot, me, meeting, realization, response, saying, sounds, workplace
The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

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6 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website
I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

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2 months ago

airline, choice, choices, entertainment, humor, i, in-flight, in-flight movie, movie, nostalgia, remember, travel, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

69 shares on X this month:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

91 shares on Slack this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

97 shares on X this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Going viral on Instagram:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Making waves on Threads:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Trending via Instagram:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Going viral on Instagram:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Making waves on Facebook:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨