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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Going viral on Discord:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Just shared via Facebook:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Trending via Pinterest:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Just shared via Reddit:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Trending via Discord:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

6 months ago

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Relaxing in a hammock is like daring the universe to throw a curveball your way! 🌴😅 Just hanging out, hoping for a smooth sailing day with zero unexpected emergencies. Because who has time for problems when you're busy perfecting the art of hammock napping? 😄🌞 #CarefreeLiving"

carefree, emergency, hammock, hope, humor, i, laying, leisure, relaxation, saying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.
6 months ago
Share → : I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.
6 months ago
Share → : My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.
6 months ago
Share → : Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.
6 months ago
Share → : Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.
2 months ago
Share → : I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.
5 months ago
Share → : Oh good. Another day.
6 months ago
Share → : When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

2 hours ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Trending via Slack:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Reported on Telegram:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Just shared via Slack:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Just shared via Telegram:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spotted on Threads:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Shared recently on X:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

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