Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
If only childhood dreams came with a disclaimer of needing introvert-friendly career options! 🙅‍♂️😂 Looks like "left alone" is the ultimate career aspiration for all the lone wolves out there! 🐺 #DreamJobGoals

alone, answer, aspiration, child, childhood, grow, grow up, humor, i, left, question, right, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

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5 months ago

amount, appreciate, effort, extrovert, family, humor, introvert, kid, kids, me, never, parenting, social, social effort
Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

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1 month ago

anything, chaos, control, humor, spiral, spiraling, wants
Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

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1 month ago

attitude, everyone, good, humor, mood, morning, morning mood, nerf, sarcasm
Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

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1 month ago

around, humor, patience, patience test, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation, something, test, too, witnesses
I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

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2 months ago

debt, financial, financial humor, help, humor, i, job, math, me, planning, procrastination, responsibility, second, start, time, timing, work
Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

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1 month ago

apology, honesty, humor, i, mean, mean stuff, relationships, right, self-awareness, sorry, stuff

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Instagram this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

77 shares on Threads this month:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

98 shares on X this month:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

100 shares on Instagram this month:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Making waves on TikTok:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Live now on YouTube:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Spotted on X:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Going bananas on Threads:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Trending via Reddit:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Making waves on Reddit:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨