Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine walking around with a giant Stupidity Smacker™️ just waiting to use it on people who test your patience 🤣💥 Who needs a debate when you have a good ol' smackdown as an option? 🤷‍♂️💢"

having, just, life, much, people, reason, simpler, smack, stupid

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

0

2 months ago

bullied, bully, cartoon, cat, cats, dog, dogs, jerry, me, misconception, opposite, reality, thinking, tom
“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

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2 months ago

awkwardness, compliments, dating, high, high school, humor, i, laid, school, self-deprecation, thanks
I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

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2 months ago

actually, affection, compliment, flirting, humor, i, ID, learn, much, number, phone, phone number
My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

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2 months ago

animal, animal comparison, comparison, favorite, football, hamsters, humor, players, sport, sport humor, water
You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

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2 months ago

always, bit, container, diet, eating, eating habits, every, food, habits, humor, last, scrape, someone, tell, yogurt
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

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5 months ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Slack this month:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

26 shares on Discord this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

83 shares on X this month:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

59 shares on Telegram this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

68 shares on Discord this month:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Trending via Threads:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Breaking via Threads:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Just shared via YouTube:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Going viral on Slack:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Broadcasted on Slack:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨