Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.
  • Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?
  • Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.
  • Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’
  • Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
  • It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.