Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.