MANCHESTER—In a landmark achievement, local man Kyle Hibbert has reportedly found serenity by keeping his life consistently in shambles. “When everything’s always falling apart, it means it was never together,” Hibbert stated proudly, noting that his unmade bed and unpaid bills are keys to his tranquil lifestyle.

Experts in disorganization have praised Hibbert’s commitment to chaos. “Kyle’s approach is revolutionary,” commented Dr. Marty Clutter, an expert in Domestic Mayhem Studies. “Most people waste time fixing problems, but Kyle saves energy by savoring them.” Hibbert claims to have seen genuine benefits, such as avoiding unwanted house guests who “can’t find a place to sit.”

Hibbert now coaches others in cultivating catastrophe. “I wake up, glance at my to-do list, and throw it out,” he explained, adding that his seminars have drawn followers eager to embrace a life where lost keys are always an icebreaker. “It’s liberating,” added Hibbert, who will forever be a mystery to the postal service.