Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

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If I were an organ, I’d fail.

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Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

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Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

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Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

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My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

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Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

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With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

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My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

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Is Mercury in reggaeton?

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Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.