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Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

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When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

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The problem is I am always the problem.

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I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

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I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

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It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

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“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

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Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

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I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

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Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.