Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.