Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!
  • Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.
  • Monday again. I just knew this would happen.
  • Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.
  • Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.
  • People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.