Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Just landed via Messenger:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Making waves on YouTube:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Making waves on Facebook:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

My favorite color is money.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Same! I'm over here trying to make my bank account more vibrant! 💵😂💚"

color, favorite, favorite color, humor, irony, money, personal, personal preference, preference, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

0

2 months ago

another, dating, flirtation, humor, i, link, love, me, music, post, relationship, Spotify
My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

0

2 months ago

after, bathroom, bathroom mirror, girl, hangover, help, humor, mirror, morning, morning after, party, party weekend, self-care, vitamins, weekend
Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

0

2 months ago

addiction, coffee, day, eye, hearing, humor, left, lost, number, withdrawal
Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

0

2 months ago

advice, culture, dua, Dua Lipa, games, humor, lipa, Luigi, Mario, platform, pop, pop culture, singer, video, video games
“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

0

2 months ago

AI, creativity, digital, humor, i, joke, sarcasm, technology, tell
I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, away, believe, comedy, days, government, having, humor, i, IRS, joke, nuclear, nuclear weapon, satire, weapon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

11 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

98 shares on Discord this month:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Trending via TikTok:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Just shared via WeChat:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Spotted on Twitch:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Making waves on YouTube:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Making waves on Telegram:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Live now on X:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite color is money.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨