Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?
  • I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.
  • To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.
  • If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
  • It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.