Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, the classic teenage maneuver! 👀🙉🙅‍♂️ It's like they have a Ph.D. in selective hearing and rebellious behavior! 🤣 Maybe we should start taking notes from them on how to expertly navigate the art of subtle defiance. 📝😜 #TeenageWisdom

advice, communication, contact, contradiction, direct, eye, eye contact, favorite, frustration, give, humor, i, just, listen, listening, me, opposite, parenting, talking, teens, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

1 month ago

bodily, bodily function, body, comedy, fart, function, funny moment, humor, i, joke, just, moment, quirky, same, screenshot, sneeze, think, time, unexpected
Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

1 month ago

big, bite, cheese, mouse, party, piece, remember, rocking, tonight, tweet, Tweets
Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

2 months ago

definitely, empathy, expression, feel, feeling, humor, i, point, said
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

1 month ago

doctor, drink, drinking, health, humor, i, joke, me, mirror, self-reflection, watch
You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

1 month ago

adult, emptiness, empty, every, expectations, happiness, happy, humor, irony, life, mailbox, time
Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

1 month ago

brag, chop, cooking, cry, crying, emotions, humor, i, joke, onion, skill

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Just shared via Telegram:

I am single, please disturb me!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Just landed via Discord:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏