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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Been getting really into nothing.

Making waves on WeChat:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Just shared via Instagram:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Spotted on Telegram:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Going viral on X:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The future is buffering.

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

2 months ago

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic teenage maneuver! 👀🙉🙅‍♂️ It's like they have a Ph.D. in selective hearing and rebellious behavior! 🤣 Maybe we should start taking notes from them on how to expertly navigate the art of subtle defiance. 📝😜 #TeenageWisdom

advice, communication, contact, contradiction, direct, eye, eye contact, favorite, frustration, give, humor, i, just, listen, listening, me, opposite, parenting, talking, teens, understanding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, mindset, oh, overthinking, problem, problem-solving, sarcasm, solving, stop
“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

4 weeks ago

contrast, distraction, humor, painting, productive, productivity, staring, Victorian, Victorian painting, wall, work
I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

2 months ago

age, humor, life, phone, technology, upgrade, where, working
Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

2 months ago

being, humor, irony, police, questioning, relationship, romance, romantic
I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

2 months ago

finance, humor, i, lifestyle, meant, money, rich, self-awareness, spend, spending, tell
I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, conversation, dating, flirting, humor, i, relationships, skills, social, social skills, suck

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on TikTok this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

75 shares on X this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

22 shares on X this month:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

27 shares on Slack this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Spotted on WeChat:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Going viral on Messenger:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

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