Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sounds of summer: the buzz of mystery insects joining the party in your living room 🦗🪰 Just nature's way of saying, 'Hey, don't forget about me!' 🌿🏡 #SummerSurprises"

animal, home, insect, summer, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

6 months ago

humor, just, person, personality, sleepiness, sleepy, times, timing, tired, wrong
You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

2 months ago

anecdote, city, funny observation, great, humor, life, live, nature, observation, pigeon, seagull, urban, urban life, wildlife
Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

5 months ago

exaggeration, fruit, giving, humor, lemon, lemons, life, me, situation, throwing, unexpected, unexpected situation, watermelon
Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

2 months ago

actually, antique, attack, doll, fear, human, humans, humor, irony, majority, murder, people, porcelain, porcelain doll, rare, rarity, shark, shark attack
Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

2 months ago

authority, convoluted, convoluted language, just, language, legalese, magic, magic spell, power, rhyme, sense, signal, special, spell, spells, term, terms
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

2 months ago

humor, irony, just, kill, me, next, oh, ok, resilience, strength, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

10 shares on Discord this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

63 shares on Discord this month:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

68 shares on Slack this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

20 shares on Instagram this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have a yearning disability.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Live now on TikTok:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Going bananas on Slack:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Seen just now on Discord:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Making waves on X:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨