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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Making waves on Facebook:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Shared recently on Threads:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Freshly posted on X:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Seen just now on X:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

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Commentary:
Ah, the fantastic four moods – a relatable roller coaster of excuses! 🎢 Who knew getting out of things could be such an art form? 🎨 Next time you need a reason not to do something, just pick a mood and away you go! 🌟 #MoodMaster

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

93 shares on X this month:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

44 shares on X this month:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Trending via Threads:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Going bananas on Slack:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Trending via Instagram:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Just shared via Reddit:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Trending via YouTube:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Trending via WeChat:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

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