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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I donโ€™t believe the phrase โ€œif they wanted to, they would,โ€ because I want to, and I donโ€™t.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Iโ€™ll make you feel safe in that youโ€™ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Did you guys hear about the โ€œinternetโ€? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on WeChat:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Making waves on Slack:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Going viral on X:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Just landed via TikTok:

For Thanksgiving donโ€™t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Just shared via Slack:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Trending via WeChat:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Just landed via X:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Live now on Messenger:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Playful quote about resisting barbecue cravings over summer bikini goals.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”ฅ "My goal was to rock that bikini this summer, but alas, the alluring sizzle of the barbecue proved to be a formidable opponent. Canโ€™t resist the aroma of grilled goodness! Looks like my summer body will have to wait… Pass me the BBQ sauce! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ‘™"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

79 shares on Threads this month:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

The week before your period doesnโ€™t make any sense… until you realize itโ€™s the week before your period.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If youโ€™re 20, please stop saying youโ€™re tired. I have bananas older than you.

85 shares on Discord this month:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, theyโ€™d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Youโ€™re an atheist? Well, I donโ€™t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally Iโ€™m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Facebook:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Just shared via Discord:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via WeChat:

Itโ€™s weird how the UFOโ€™s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Making waves on Facebook:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Shared recently on Facebook:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Going viral on X:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isnโ€™t secretly every motherโ€™s fantasy.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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