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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2458 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,620

Funny Quotes Topics

15,294

Funny Quotes Images

12,620

3 minutes ago

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Reported on Facebook:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Spotted on Twitch:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Just shared via YouTube:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Just shared via X:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Trending via Facebook:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Trending via YouTube:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Jan 28, 2025

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

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Commentary:
🚂 All aboard the Murder Mystery Express! 🔍🕵️‍♂️ Who needs regular hobbies when you can live out your Hercule Poirot dreams, right? Just imagine solving crimes in style with a cup of tea in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other. All eyes on you, detective extraordinaire! 🕵️‍♀️🚂

aspiration, crime, day, detective, humor, murder, mystery, solve, train, whodunit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2458 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,620

Funny Quotes Topics

15,294

Funny Quotes Images

12,620

3 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Trending via Facebook:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Spotted on Slack:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Spotted on Discord:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Just landed via Facebook:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

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