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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Trending via Twitch:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Reported on Snapchat:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Spotted on Messenger:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Breaking via Facebook:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Going viral on TikTok:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.
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Commentary:
Oh, the ultimate crime – cheesecake theft in the name of good food and poor hearing! 🍰🚪 At least now he knows that if he wants a slice of that delicious dessert, he better make sure to shout louder next time! 🔒😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Going viral on X:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Trending via Twitch:

69 but we both just farting.

Making waves on Reddit:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Making waves on X:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

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