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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Spotted on Threads:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Trending via Facebook:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Spotted on YouTube:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Going viral on Facebook:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Just shared via Slack:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

6 months ago

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least 'The Walking Dead' taught us a practical survival tip: when the zombies come knocking, don't worry about the expiration date on those canned beans 🧟‍♂️🥫 Just pray they're still edible and won't turn you into a member of the undead pantry patrol! 😂 #ApocalypseDining"

advice, apocalypse, canned, canned goods, dead, eat, expired, expired food, food, funny advice, goods, humor, pantry, still, survival, takeaway, walking, Walking Dead, zombie, zombie apocalypse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Trending via Messenger:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Spotted on Threads:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Freshly posted on X:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Shared recently on X:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Making waves on Threads:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Breaking via Facebook:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

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