Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs crack when you can get your daily fix of legal and tasty coffee? ☕️😂 Just be careful not to overdo it or you might end up bouncing off the walls like you're on something stronger! 💥☕️😜"

addiction, caffeine, coffee, crack, good, humor, just, legal, only, taste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

0

5 months ago

again, communication, humor, me, microphone, say, screenshot, screenshots, threat, threaten
I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

0

2 months ago

better, diet, eat, exercise, expectations, fitness, humor, i, new, new year, procrastination, resolution, time, year
I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

0

2 months ago

control, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, lunch, mission, Mission Control, misunderstanding, Nasa, time, today, workplace
I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, anything, behavior, carefree, cat, confusion, front, frustration, house, house cat, humor, i, me, shit, simplicity, slap, understand, want
It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

0

2 months ago

amazing, attitude, both, cat, cats, ears, humor, ignore, ignoring, pet
Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

0

4 weeks ago

better, cheese, comfort, comfort food, cooking, feeling, feeling feral, feral, food, mac, mac and cheese, mood

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Messenger this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

87 shares on Discord this month:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

45 shares on X this month:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Going viral on Instagram:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Spotted on Twitch:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Breaking via YouTube:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Trending via Facebook:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Trending via Facebook:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Going bananas on X:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨