Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Seen just now on Threads:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Spotted on Twitch:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Going viral on X:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Seen just now on Discord:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

2 months ago

0

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your son has unlocked the ultimate bagel transformation power! 🥯🌍 Watch out, world, we now have an "everywhere bagel" on the loose – he's spreading deliciousness in every corner of the globe! Who knew a simple bagel could have such grand ambitions? 🌟 #BagelGoals

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

0

3 months ago

back, beautiful, flirting, follow, follow back, i, interaction, line, match, me, media, online, online interaction, pickup, pickup line, social, social media, Tinder
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

0

2 months ago

again, confidence, doing, glimpse, guess, humor, i, mirror, morning, myself, personality, self-image, today, work
I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

0

2 months ago

brand, buzzing, care, curiosity, enjoying, funny observation, hear, hour, humor, i, know, need, neighbor, observation, personal, personal care, time, toothbrush
With great power comes a huge electric bill.

0

1 month ago

bill, cost, electric, electric bill, electricity, energy, great, huge, humor, joke, power, responsibility
I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

0

1 month ago

attitude, care, disappointed, disappointment, humor, i, impressed, independence, me, parental, parental relationship, parents, relationship, sarcasm
I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

0

4 weeks ago

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

72 shares on X this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

86 shares on Slack this month:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

You are the Monday of my life.

Broadcasted on X:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Trending via Reddit:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Making waves on TikTok:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Seen just now on Threads:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Making waves on Twitch:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Live now on Telegram:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Going viral on Reddit:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

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