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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Just shared via Discord:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Trending via Pinterest:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Seen just now on Telegram:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Just shared via Slack:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about a son's clever twist on a bagel, humorously highlighting creativity.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your son has unlocked the ultimate bagel transformation power! 🥯🌍 Watch out, world, we now have an "everywhere bagel" on the loose – he's spreading deliciousness in every corner of the globe! Who knew a simple bagel could have such grand ambitions? 🌟 #BagelGoals

bagel, creativity, everything, everywhere, food, humor, joke, just, mess, parenting, son

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

90 shares on X this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Spotted on Telegram:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Trending via Slack:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Shared recently on Slack:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

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