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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Going viral on Telegram:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Spotted on TikTok:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Live now on X:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about feeling more exhausted after waking up, highlighting humorous sleep struggles.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Move over, Superman! This superhero wakes up ready to conquer the world… of nap-taking 💤😂 #SleepySuperpowers"

asleep, exhaustion, humor, i, relatable, sleep, superpower, tired, wake, wake up

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

43 shares on X this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Just shared via Telegram:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Just landed via Slack:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Breaking via Threads:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Going bananas on YouTube:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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