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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

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15,241

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12,567

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Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Just shared via YouTube:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Reported on Messenger:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Shared recently on Twitch:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Spotted on YouTube:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
"Move over, Superman! This superhero wakes up ready to conquer the world… of nap-taking 💤😂 #SleepySuperpowers"

asleep, exhaustion, humor, i, relatable, sleep, superpower, tired, wake, wake up

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Spotted on TikTok:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Making waves on Telegram:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Reported on YouTube:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Seen just now on Discord:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Just landed via WeChat:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Just landed via Twitch:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Trending via Instagram:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Breaking via Threads:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

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My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

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Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

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I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

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My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

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