My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.