Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like your swear jar is pulling in more cash than a lemonade stand in summer! 💰🍋 Keep those coins coming in, and who knows, you might just reach "cuss-word tycoon" status! 💸😄

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

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2 months ago

away, evening, funny moment, humor, i, little, me, memory, moment, nature, rabbit, remember, running, squirrel, squirrels, walk, wildlife
On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

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2 months ago

agenda, family, family vacation, internet, loud, parent, parents, read, reading, vacation
It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

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2 months ago

animal, fast, horse, humor, run, speed, sport, still, suck, weird
Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

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2 months ago

brag, cop, end, humor, joke, rear, rear end, smoking, trying
Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

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2 months ago

brand, brand new week, excited, hanging, hanging on, humor, motivation, new, optimism, struggle, super, thread, week
If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

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2 months ago

anxiety, distraction, feeling, geopolitics, global, humor, information, internet, little, media, much, phone, relief, remember, scroll, scrolling, smartphone, spend, state, stress, stress relief, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

80 shares on X this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

75 shares on Discord this month:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

37 shares on X this month:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Broadcasted on X:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Spotted on Instagram:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Going viral on Telegram:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Trending via Twitch:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨