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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Trending via Telegram:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Just shared via Telegram:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, how about cookies and milk? 🍪🥛 Or peanut butter and jelly? 🥜🍇 Sad and depressed might be a dynamic duo, but these pairs are the real MVPs of comforting combos!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

98 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

91 shares on Threads this month:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Trending via WeChat:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Spotted on Instagram:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Trending via Telegram:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Making waves on Threads:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

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