Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Just landed via Telegram:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Making waves on WeChat:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Shared recently on X:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Breaking via Instagram:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Just shared via Instagram:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text about honesty and holiday gifts with a playful, cheeky vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Never faked an orgasm before, but let's just say the joy of ugly presents comes pretty close! 😂🎁 Who needs fancy gifts when you can laugh your way through the holiday season with some truly unique and questionable presents? Embrace the quirks and keep those surprises coming!"

before, expectation, gift, humor, joy, never, orgasm, present, relationship, surprise, ugly, ugly present

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

67 shares on Threads this month:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Freshly posted on X:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Just shared via Slack:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Spotted on Discord:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Spotted on YouTube:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

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