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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

31 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Just shared via WeChat:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Making waves on YouTube:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Spotted on Telegram:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Trending via Snapchat:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Making waves on TikTok:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Going viral on Facebook:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

6 months ago

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Never faked an orgasm before, but let's just say the joy of ugly presents comes pretty close! 😂🎁 Who needs fancy gifts when you can laugh your way through the holiday season with some truly unique and questionable presents? Embrace the quirks and keep those surprises coming!"

before, expectation, gift, humor, joy, never, orgasm, present, relationship, surprise, ugly, ugly present

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

31 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Spotted on Twitch:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Going viral on X:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Seen just now on Discord:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Trending via Slack:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Live now on WeChat:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Spotted on Telegram:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

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