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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Just shared via Instagram:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Going bananas on Messenger:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Making waves on Discord:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Next to nothing is a weird place.

6 days ago

Witty text highlighting how next to nothing feels like a strange place.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being in a state of 'next to nothing' is like straddling the fine line between existence and being a mysterious ninja ghost 👻. It's the limbo where your wallet feels after a shopping spree but before payday 😅💸. Welcome to the weird neighborhood of scarcity and surreal possibilities! 🚶‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Breaking via Messenger:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Going viral on Facebook:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Making waves on Discord:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Trending via Pinterest:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Going viral on YouTube:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Freshly posted on X:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

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