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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,539

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,539

Nov 26, 2025

4,021

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Making waves on Instagram:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Spotted on Messenger:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Trending via Instagram:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Trending via TikTok:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Just landed via Slack:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Next to nothing is a weird place.

3 weeks ago

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being in a state of 'next to nothing' is like straddling the fine line between existence and being a mysterious ninja ghost 👻. It's the limbo where your wallet feels after a shopping spree but before payday 😅💸. Welcome to the weird neighborhood of scarcity and surreal possibilities! 🚶‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,539

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,539

Nov 26, 2025

3,567

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Trending via Twitch:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Spotted on Messenger:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Just landed via Instagram:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Just landed via YouTube:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Going viral on Instagram:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Seen just now on Discord:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

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