Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Words of wisdom from the master of disguise! 🕶️🌿 Just remember, blending in doesn't mean actually blending in… 😉 #StealthModeActivated"

always, humor, irony, know, mindset, nobody, self-awareness, stoned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, came, casual, casual activity, confidence, everything, humor, i, just, right, self-assurance, walk
Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

0

2 months ago

balls, bottled, bottled water, drink, fluoride, gland, health, humor, let, micro, microplastics, pineal, pineal gland, spring, tap, tap water, water
Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

0

3 weeks ago

active, babe, before, change, chat, conversation, group, group chat, humor, joke, media, relationship, right, social, social media, sorry, texting, timing, trying
“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

0

5 months ago

attitude, best, effort, humor, i, job, life, living, work
I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

0

2 months ago

car, commentary, culture, give, humor, i, inside, listen, media, modern, modern culture, refuse, satire, social, social media, society, state, TikTok, trends, video
Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, i, imagine, irony, me, notice, oblivious, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

62 shares on X this month:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

My life is based on a true story.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

95 shares on Discord this month:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Spotted on Twitch:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Trending via Telegram:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Going viral on X:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Trending via Messenger:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Making waves on Discord:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨