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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Just shared via Facebook:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Making waves on Facebook:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Making waves on Slack:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about questioning social visits with a witty, playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: your friends are just really worried about your extensive snack collection 🍔🍕 #InterventionOrNah"

ask, asking, awkwardness, friendship, gathering, humor, intervention, invite, normalize, over, social, social gathering, someone, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

2 weeks ago

after, anything, appetizer, eat, eating, food, humor, logic, meal, portions, snack
In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

3 weeks ago

90s, always, house, humor, interaction, memory, nostalgia, social, social interaction, stranger, strangers
I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

5 days ago

allowed, boxing, competition, face, face punch, humor, i, joke, me, moment, opponent, punch, quit, quitting, sarcastic, sports, too
Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

2 weeks ago

album, backwards, black, Black Sabbath, hear, humor, joke, know, listen, music, sabbath, singing
Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

6 days ago

babe, couple, humor, joke, ok, playful, prophecy, relationship, sarcasm, witty
The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

4 days ago

anxiety, day, day terror, fear, half, humor, me, much, night, night terror, nightmare, sarcasm, scare, terror, terrors

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

24 shares on Discord this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Just shared via Pinterest:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Making waves on Slack:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Trending via WhatsApp:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Freshly posted on X:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Live now on Instagram:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Live now on YouTube:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨