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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Making waves on Slack:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Live now on X:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

God saw you do that.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Freshly posted on X:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: your friends are just really worried about your extensive snack collection 🍔🍕 #InterventionOrNah"

ask, asking, awkwardness, friendship, gathering, humor, intervention, invite, normalize, over, social, social gathering, someone, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, fan, football, humor, kids, parenting, raising, right, rival, sports, think
Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

0

2 months ago

came, control, discover, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, recliner, remote, remote control, run, running, surprise, treadmill
If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

0

2 months ago

divine, explain, God, humor, irony, love, religion, skepticism, snakes, us
I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

0

2 months ago

answer, asked, humor, identity, joke, LGBTQ, me, misunderstanding, people, question, society, straight, straight answer
Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

0

2 months ago

100%, 100% rice, cake, change, else, food, food humor, frustration, gaslighting, humor, name, name change, petition, rice, rice cake, snack, something, tired
Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

0

2 months ago

back, childhood, expensive, Lego, much, nostalgia, paid, parents, pricing, should, too, toys, value

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

61 shares on Discord this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Live now on YouTube:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Just shared via Reddit:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨