Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.
  • Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
  • Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?
  • Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.
  • Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
  • Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?