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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Seen just now on X:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Seen just now on Telegram:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Trending via Messenger:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

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Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of adjusting your senses for optimal performance! Turning down the radio to find a house 🏠 or parking spot 🚗 is like fine-tuning a fancy radio antenna. And taking off your sunglasses 😎 to hear someone better is the ultimate power move – because who knew sunglasses could be the culprit behind missed conversations! 🕶️🗣️ #LifeHacks"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

76 shares on Reddit this month:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

65 shares on Threads this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Making waves on Threads:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Trending via Instagram:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Breaking via TikTok:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Spotted on Messenger:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Making waves on YouTube:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

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