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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

39 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Just landed via YouTube:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Making waves on Twitch:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Reported on Snapchat:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Jan 24, 2025

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of adjusting your senses for optimal performance! Turning down the radio to find a house 🏠 or parking spot 🚗 is like fine-tuning a fancy radio antenna. And taking off your sunglasses 😎 to hear someone better is the ultimate power move – because who knew sunglasses could be the culprit behind missed conversations! 🕶️🗣️ #LifeHacks"

better, hear, house, humor, i, parking, parking spot, radio, someone, spot, sunglasses, take, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

39 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Just shared via Facebook:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Shared recently on Threads:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Reported on Threads:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Just shared via Messenger:

I would prefer not to.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

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