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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Nov 27, 2025

3,893

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Just shared via Telegram:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Live now on Reddit:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Freshly posted on X:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Going viral on Messenger:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

3 weeks ago

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

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Commentary:
Ah, the age-old dilemma of being old enough to have wisdom but young enough to completely ignore it! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs logic and reason when you have a zest for life and a knack for making questionable decisions? 🎉 Just remember, you're not reckless, you're just creatively spontaneous! 😉 #ForeverYoungAndSlightlyWiser

age, better, decision, experience, humor, know, life, old, rebellion, wisdom, young, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Nov 27, 2025

3,798

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Making waves on Discord:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Seen just now on X:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Shared recently on Facebook:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending via YouTube:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

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