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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Shared recently on Threads:

All I think about is death and sex.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Seen just now on X:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Trending via Messenger:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Spotted on TikTok:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Trending via TikTok:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

2 months ago

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old dilemma of being old enough to have wisdom but young enough to completely ignore it! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs logic and reason when you have a zest for life and a knack for making questionable decisions? 🎉 Just remember, you're not reckless, you're just creatively spontaneous! 😉 #ForeverYoungAndSlightlyWiser

age, better, decision, experience, humor, know, life, old, rebellion, wisdom, young, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like my bed more than I like most people.

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, introvert, people, preference, relationship, sarcasm, sleep
“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

2 months ago

appearance, compliment, funny observation, humor, observation, sarcasm, sun, swimming, translation, volcano
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

4 weeks ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace
I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

2 months ago

disrespect, etiquette, humor, i, irony, sarcasm, sir, title
I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

6 months ago

accept, confusion, cookie, enough, even, humor, i, internet, know, means, privacy, reject, started, technology
My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

2 months ago

animal, animal care, bear, better, care, diarrhea, getting, health, humor, me, problems, vet, woods, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Just shared via Slack:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Spotted on Telegram:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Trending via YouTube:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Spotted on Slack:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

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