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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Trending via Instagram:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Making waves on TikTok:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Just landed via Reddit:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Just landed via YouTube:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Just shared via Instagram:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

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One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine fighting off brain-eating zombies all day, only to be taken down by a lack of white noise at night! 🧟‍♂️💨 Sweet dreams, survivors! #Priorities #ZombieApocalypseSurvivalTip"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

40 shares on Discord this month:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Going viral on X:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Shared recently on Threads:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Seen just now on TikTok:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

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