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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Trending via X:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Spotted on Messenger:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Trending via Messenger:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Just shared via Slack:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Trending via Instagram:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

0
Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, getting a toothbrush from the dentist is just a clever strategy to ensure we keep coming back for more dental adventures! 🦷🪥 Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, at least my oral health is in good hands! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

30 shares on X this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Trending via Instagram:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Live now on Telegram:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Just shared via Discord:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Seen just now on Slack:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Making waves on YouTube:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

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