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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2271 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,433

Funny Quotes Topics

15,136

Funny Quotes Images

12,433

51 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Just shared via Reddit:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Trending via WeChat:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Live now on X:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Just landed via Twitch:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

6 months ago

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, getting a toothbrush from the dentist is just a clever strategy to ensure we keep coming back for more dental adventures! 🦷🪥 Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well, at least my oral health is in good hands! 😂"

away, care, dental, dental care, dentist, fool, hand, humor, irony, joke, keep, think, tools, toothbrush

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2271 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,433

Funny Quotes Topics

15,136

Funny Quotes Images

12,433

51 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Reported on Pinterest:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Just landed via Facebook:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Shared recently on Telegram:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Breaking via TikTok:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

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