Trendy Funny Quotes

  • “It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.
  • My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.
  • Life is short, flirt with me!
  • Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.
  • I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.
  • Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.