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Commentary:
"Remember, sharing is caring…unless we're talking about my illegal substances! Those are strictly for personal enjoyment only. 🙅‍♂️🚫 #FindersKeepersLosersWeepers"

advice, drugs, humor, illegal, illegal substance, personal, personal property, property, substance, take, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

2 months ago
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The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

1 month ago
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I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

1 month ago
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I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

1 month ago
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Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

1 month ago
business, dead, ghost, ghosting, humor, people, relationships, sheet
My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

1 month ago
cry, crying, expense, finance, humor, joke, me, money, onion, opening, sarcasm, wallet

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Freshly posted on X:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Spotted on Discord:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Making waves on Telegram:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Seen just now on X:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Going viral on Discord:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

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Activity Log ✨

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Being awake is the worst.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

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Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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