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You only live once and thank God for that.

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I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

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Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

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Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

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When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

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Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

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“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

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How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

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Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

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They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

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Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Commentary:
Oops! Looks like someone is in the danger zone ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ“ฑ Better hurry up and finish typing before things escalate! Remember, happy wife = happy life! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ”ฅ



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