Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you're already surrounded by negativity? 🤷‍♂️ Time to trade in those toxic relationships for some good vibes and self-care! 🌟 #BeYourOwnBestFriend"

advice, closer, enemy, feel, humor, negativity, quit, relationship, shit, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, age, Alexa, ask, came, classic, classic rock, high, high school, humor, music, nostalgia, play, rock, school, song, technology, truly
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

0

2 months ago

humor, joking, just, mean, people, perception, personality, sarcasm, think
It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

0

5 months ago

always, anxiety, deadly, deadly disease, disease, health, huge, humor, joke, list, loss, reading, relief, symptom, symptoms, unexplained, unexplained weight loss, weight
Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, back, back to work, humor, i, last, sleep, work
There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

0

5 months ago

anguish, communication, digital, digital communication, emoji, emotion, express, expression, humor, sort
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

0

2 months ago

activity, democracy, fun, fun activity, humor, kid, kids, money, movie, parenting, pizza, vote

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

90 shares on Slack this month:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Going viral on Messenger:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Just landed via Twitch:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Going viral on Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨