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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Shared recently on Telegram:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Just shared via Discord:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Trending via X:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My lips could use some attention today.

Freshly posted on Slack:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

1
Ramen is just anime spaghetti.
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Commentary:
Ah, yes, the exquisite culinary masterpiece! 🍜🍝 Ramen, the anime spaghetti – taking your taste buds on a flavorful journey through the whimsical world of Japanese cuisine. It's like a delicious animated version of Italian pasta, with a side order of quirky characters and magical seasonings! Who knew that noodles could be this full of drama and flavor? 🌟😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

82 shares on Slack this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

55 shares on X this month:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not going is the new leaving early.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Just shared via Reddit:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Trending via WeChat:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

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