Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.
  • German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.
  • I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.
  • His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.
  • Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.
  • The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.