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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Just landed via Telegram:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Broadcasted on Threads:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Spotted on Instagram:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Sailors wish they could swear like me.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ahoy matey! ⚓️🌊 Looks like this sailor has got a mouth as salty as the sea! 🤭⛵️ Who knew cursing could be a form of art for mariners? Swearing on the high seas just got a whole lot more interesting! 😂🤣 #SailorSass

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2270 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,432

Funny Quotes Topics

15,133

Funny Quotes Images

12,432

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Does anyone know where I can find true love?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Shared recently on Discord:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Shared recently on TikTok:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

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