Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ahoy matey! ⚓️🌊 Looks like this sailor has got a mouth as salty as the sea! 🤭⛵️ Who knew cursing could be a form of art for mariners? Swearing on the high seas just got a whole lot more interesting! 😂🤣 #SailorSass

humor, language, me, profanity, sailor, swear, wish, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

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4 months ago

age, aging, beanbag, beanbag chair, chair, comfort, getting, getting up, humor, i, learned, old, sit, sitting, things, too, yesterday
Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

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2 months ago

aspiration, being, financial, financial struggle, huge, humor, inconvenience, luxury, me, money, rich, sarcasm, struggle, wealth, wealth aspiration
My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

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2 months ago

entertainment, humor, Netflix, original, pay, self-awareness, therapist, therapy, watch
I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

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2 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, loss, miracle, new, pray, weight, weight loss
Not right now. I’m manifesting.

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5 months ago

excuse, humor, manifesting, mindfulness, motivation, procrastination, right, self-care
How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

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2 months ago

before, cake, dessert, door, expectation, food, fridge, humor, inside, open, patience, times, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

10 shares on X this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

66 shares on X this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Spotted on Threads:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Just shared via Slack:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Going viral on Discord:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Making waves on X:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨