Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Going viral on Facebook:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Trending via X:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Just shared via YouTube:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Clever, humorous text highlighting sailors' envy of your swearing skills.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ahoy matey! ⚓️🌊 Looks like this sailor has got a mouth as salty as the sea! 🤭⛵️ Who knew cursing could be a form of art for mariners? Swearing on the high seas just got a whole lot more interesting! 😂🤣 #SailorSass

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

91 shares on X this month:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Spotted on Discord:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Just landed via Instagram:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Trending via X:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Just shared via Reddit:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Trending via YouTube:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

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