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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.
  • I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.
  • Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.
  • Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?
  • Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.
  • Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.