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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2041 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,203

Funny Quotes Topics

14,955

Funny Quotes Images

12,203

3 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Just shared via Slack:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Going viral on TikTok:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

6 months ago

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic tale of internal organ rebellion! 🤣 It's like your body's playing a game of charades, but with a painful twist! 🤕 Don't worry, it's probably just your organs throwing a little party in there without inviting you. 🎉 Just remind them who's the boss with some self-care and a good laugh! 😅

body, humor, hurt, internal, irony, me, organ, organs, pain, something, sure, tell, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2041 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,203

Funny Quotes Topics

14,955

Funny Quotes Images

12,203

3 minutes ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Spotted on Discord:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Trending via Pinterest:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

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